Portfolio: Question 5

5. What has influenced your understanding of what a mother and wife should be? How has this affected your life as a mother and wife?

I pledge to enhance the spiritual foundation of my home by precept and example.

“Mom, do you think Shauna will have any children?” my sister asked on my wedding day. My mother, an amazing example of finding delight in motherhood, was quite disappointed that I never wanted to have children. I wanted a career. I wanted to travel. My mother responded hopefully, “I think she will have one . . . just to say that she did it.” I have five children now, but it was a long, slow process to learn delight in being a mother.

Many years ago, when my children were quite young, I left a gratifying and rewarding career in corporate law to stay at home full-time with my children. I felt that I had left my dreams behind and I was somehow being punished and denied happiness despite doing what I felt called of God to do. One evening, I drove to a secluded spot that overlooked the city lights and poured out my heart to God. I explained that I was doing what He wanted me to do, yet I wasn’t happy. I think I actually told Him I hated my life. (An audacious statement, considering my healthy children, comfortable warm home, loving husband, and supportive extended family.) However, as I drove down the mountain, a thought came into my mind. “What will make you happy?” I knew the answer had to be carefully considered. I began writing lists of things that would truly make me happy—things in my roles as a mother, as a woman, as a wife. I created nearly four pages of things that I wanted within my family that would bring happiness.

As I pondered these pages, four categories (Intellectual, Spiritual, Physical, and Social) emerged. I began to see that I could find joy in the day-to-day aspects of motherhood by realizing that I was building toward eternity. I resolved to do something within each category each day for myself and with my children. These categories have now expanded to the acronym S.P.I.C.E.S.S. (Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Creative, Emotional, Social, and Skills) and activities that promote each of these areas have become an integral part of our daily family rhythm.