In 1976, Deanne Taylor moved to Arizona with her husband and young family. After hearing her neighbors talk about parenting problems, Taylor realized that some of her own concerns about being a mother were shared by others and decided to get involved in a local group for mothers. The decision stuck and now, nearly 35 years later, Taylor, who lives in Pleasant Grove, is the national president of American Mothers, Inc.
The nonprofit, nonpolitical, interfaith organization has a growing presence in Utah and will hold its annual national convention in Salt Lake City next year. Last week, Taylor and three other Utah Valley moms traveled to New York City for the 2010 convention.
Meeting with her peers from other states was inspiring for Shauna Dunn, a law school graduate and mother of five who is American Mothers's 2010 Utah Young Mother of the Year. "I was amazed at how quickly the young mothers from the different states connected and made friends," she said.
Creating friendships and support networks among mothers is one of the most important things that American Mothers accomplishes, Taylor said, noting that many mothers feel isolated in their responsibilities from time to time. "You feel alone and you feel like it's never going to end," Taylor said.
The group also celebrates the work that mothers do and tries to encourage each next generation of mothers and prospective mothers that comes along. "In today's world, motherhood is lower on the totem pole when it comes to priorities," said Orem resident Shirley Tong, American Mothers's 2010 Utah Mother of the Year. "We have a mission to help women realize that motherhood is a wonderful way of life."
The women in American Mothers know that raising children is hard work, but they want everyone else to know that they think it's worth the effort. As Dixie Clifford, the Utah Mother of the Year in 2009, put it, "We find our joy where our heart is. If our heart is with these children, who we've given birth to, then we'll find our joy there also."
Who's your mommy?
Everyone has a mother and every mother is different. For Mother's Day, we visited with four Utah Valley women, each a member of American Mothers, Inc., who represent the dedication and loving kindness of all our local mothers.
Shirley Tong
American Mothers Utah Mother of the Year (2010)
Age: 74
Lives in: Orem
Married to: Norman
On her first date with her future husband -- in Hawaii, where both of them had grown up -- Shirley Tong played along. "He was a tour guide taking tourists around in a big limousine. He invited me to join them," she said. The joke was that Tong was a fellow tour guide: "We had a good time singing Hawaiian songs for the tourists and taking them to see the sites."
Tong has a sense of humor about a lot of things. "My husband is Chinese-Hawaiian and I'm of Japanese ancestry," she said, "so our kids are chop suey." (She has six children, and 21 grandchildren.) Norman Tong is one year younger than his wife. "He reminds me of it, too," Tong said. "He plays it up."
When she was a child, Tong said, her mother made a lasting impression on her with her sense of industry and innovation. After teaching herself to sew, Tong's mother stretched the family clothing budget by saving the heavy cloth sacks from the chicken feed used on the family's farm, bleaching the material and using it to make undergarments for her children.
"The only thing that didn't disappear was black print that read Honolulu Dairyman's Association," Tong said. Sometimes, a bit of the printing would show: "We would be so embarrassed."
Shauna Dunn -- American Mothers Utah Young Mother of the Year (2010)
Age: 40
Lives in: American Fork
Married to: Brent
Raising children was not, in her younger years, very high on Shauna Dunn's list of priorities. A law school graduate who also has an MBA, Dunn said that even her mother and sister were dubious that she would ever raise a family. "On my wedding day," she said, "my sister asked my mom, 'Do you think she'll have children?' My mom said, 'I think she'll have one, just to say she did it.' "
Instead she has five -- one son, age 14, and four daughters, ages 12, 9, 6 and 4 -- who think it's funny that their 40-year-old mom is the Young Mother of the Year. "That's determined by how old your children are," Dunn said. (To qualify as a "young mother," your children must all be younger than 18.) At the recent American Mothers national convention in New York, she said, "there were some women who I think might have been younger than me who were in the Mother of the Year category."
Dunn worked in money management at a mutual fund company until shortly after the birth of her third child. "I walked into work one day," she said, "and realized that it wasn't right for my family anymore."
American Mothers helped her meet other women and talk about the experience of being a mother. "What I was looking for, and found, was someone who understood what it was like to struggle with being a mother," Dunn said. Sometimes, it isn't just children who need the support of a good mother.
Deanne Taylor -- National President of American Mothers
Age: 62
Lives in: Pleasant Grove
Married to: Devon
American Mothers has no political affiliation or agenda. It does have a president, however, and Deanne Taylor, who has just begun the second year of her two-year term, does take a hand in government. Taylor is a delegate preparing to attend the state Republican convention and will help determine whether Sen. Bob Bennett goes back into private life or keeps fighting for another term in office.
American Mothers may not have political clout, but Taylor hopes it can help encourage mothers to lean on each other for advice and support. In that way, she'd like American Mothers to be a little bit like her own mother. "My mother was a friend to everyone; everyone felt comfortable around my mother," she said.
Taylor, who has eight children (and 13 grandchildren) of her own said her mother also encouraged her by telling her that she could do anything she wanted to do.
When American Mothers comes to Salt Lake City in 2011 for its national convention, Taylor hopes to strengthen the spirit of community that was expressed to her at the 2010 convention. "I was talking to one lady at the convention," she said, "and she told me, 'We might be different ages, we might be different ethnicities, we might come from different religions, but we all have one thing in common: We're mothers who love our children and our families.' "
Dixie Clifford -- American Mothers Utah Mother of the Year (2009)
Age: 73
Lives in: Orem
Married to: Lincoln
Among all of the things that can detract from the pursuit of motherhood -- concerns about finances, career aims, obsessing about fitness or possessions -- Dixie Clifford thinks there's a four-letter word that can subtly undermine mothers: duty. "Mothering should be done out of love," Clifford said.
There's a fine line to be understood. Clifford said that she hopes women will have a sense of awe about the responsibilities of being a mother, but not feel overwhelmed by those responsibilities to the point that it becomes their most important motherly motivation. The most important thing you can do for your children, she said, is love them.
Clifford, who has a number of other pursuits that keep her busy like serving on the Orem Heritage Commission, got involved with American Mothers after her two daughters, one in California and one in Nevada, became Young Mother of the Year in the same year, 1995. (Clifford gave birth to four children, one of whom is deceased.)
One thing Clifford appreciates about the dozen or so chapters of American Mothers in Utah is how inclusive they are. One chapter in Ogden, she said, is mostly made up of mothers who haven't had their children at home in many years. "They call themselves emeritus mothers," she said. "It doesn't matter how old you are. There's a place for you."
American Mothers, Inc.
What: American Mothers is a nonprofit foundation that teaches, encourages and honors mothers. There are chapters in 41 U.S. states and territories.
